You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
