Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
