ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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