Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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