We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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