you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
