Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
