I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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