if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
