I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
