During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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