So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
