why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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