halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
