in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
