I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
