Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
