Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
