Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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