i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
