Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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