Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize