Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
