imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
