Say something about gay babies.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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