New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
