if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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