i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
