She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
