no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize