Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's shark week go big or go home
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
