Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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