dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
