ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
