are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
