I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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