My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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