Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
