thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
