So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
