I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
