woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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