Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
