Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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