I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
