I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This gyro tastes like lonliness
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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