Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
