Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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