Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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