still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
