"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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