I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize