I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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