Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize