Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
