walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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