I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
