ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
